Sometimes i wish you were dead.

You tell me that without me you are nothing. That your life would be meaningless if I was gone, and that I mean everything to you. You tell me that the day I was born was the best day of your life, that i am everything to you and that you live because of me. I know you don't mean anything you say. Everything you have told me are just lies and empty sounds.

You don't mean any of it. You never will.

You called me meaningless, you made me feel like nothing. You said no one would ever be capable of loving me but you, because it was your job. I know I am unloveable, you don't have to tell me that. I'm quite aware of it.
You called me ugly, insignificant. You said He would leave me in a heartbeat. You said that i meant nothing to him, that He was just suing me because i gave him a lot. You said i was stupid to think He actually loved me, that no one could love nothing, exactly what i am.
You said that i would be alone forever because i was ugly and powerless and insignificant and meaningless. You said that only you could ever love me, that no one else would ever care for me.

And i believed you.

You killed a piece of me that i didn't know it was there. You killed it forever.

How could you say that? How could you reduce me to this mess i am? How could you hurt me like that? You, the one who is supposed o love me inconditionally.
How could you?
Do you enjoy making me feel miserable? Does it make you feel strong and big and confident? Does making me feel like like shit gives you the feeling of being in control of everything? I suppose it does. After all, that's what you are here for. To control me.
You must have a firm grip over me, and even though you don't have it anymore, you refuse to accept the idea that you can no longer control me. I always said that the worst thing that can happen to you people is realizing that you do not have your offspring on a short leash.
I was your ego project, a way of making you feel better. A mere mean to an end. I am the product of that narcisistic obsession. How can you say you love me when you do all this shit? Do you really think that by hurting me you can alienate me more? That i will realize that he doesn't love me, and leave him?

I wont.

Perhaps you are right. Perhaps he will leave me. But i love him, and i am not letting him go. He means everything to me and i love him more than i ever cared for you.

And i know i am nothing, i know no one could possibly love me but---

I don't think i can ever forgive you, i will never forgive you. Not this time.

I wont.